2008년 8월 18일 월요일
Haiku Autobiography
"Mine!!!!!!!!" Julie screamed from the right side of the court. She bumped up the ball, and it slowly fell my direction. I let Tiffany know that I will set for her to hit. 'I am going to make this work,' I thought to myself. Few moments later, the ball was on the other side of the net and we were jumping up and down with joy. But before we were ready, another ball vigorously attacked us. Once again we beautifully pull it off. At the end of the practice, we were drenched in sweat. Yet, we were smiling of satisfaction.
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Another good start! I like the topic of this one and I like how you build toward the ending. A couple things to work on: 1. more action! 2. more describing! (maybe come up with a metaphor or simile for the ball? something with a bit more imagery . . .)
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