2008년 8월 18일 월요일
Haiku Autobiography 2
Arthur came running towards me, out of breathe. He was trying to explain something but I couldn't make sense out of the things he was spitting out, "He...CAR!!!...Jasmine." I assumed he was playing another stupid joke on me and simply walked away. Then Mike popped out and said the same thing, "He...CAR!!!...Jasmine." Unable to hold my patience any longer, I exploded on the street. Moments later my eyes suddenly opened. "Oh, it was just another stupid dream." Everyday I dream of pointless things and wonder if it has to do anything with my life. What does it mean?
피드 구독하기:
댓글 (Atom)
댓글 1개:
Great start, Amy! I think the ending is the best part here--the questioning of your "meaningless" dreams. It might be more compelling to create a short list of strange dreams, not telling your reader that they are dreams, and then end exactly the way that you did. One grammatical concern: You do not stay in the same verb tense. The shift doesn't seem to be deliberate. Watch for this as you revise . . .
Mrs. Erickson
댓글 쓰기